The Definitive Compilation of 70 Hilarious Instagram Captions for Singles on Valentine’s Day 2024

Are you looking for funny quotes on Valentines Day? We’ve gathered ultimate list of best funny single Valentines Day captions for Instagram post for girls and boys.

Valentine’s Day is here again and choosing a funny Valentine memes can be difficult task. Being single on Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to get you down.

That’s the reason we’ve created a huge collection of funny Valentine’s Day quotes about being single. These quotes are going to make you happy while you post photo on social media and pair it with the perfect caption.

To help you to start with the process of choosing a good caption, we’ve handpicked comprehensive list of best and funny Valentines Day captions for single people.

List of Top Funny Single Valentines Day Captions for Girls and Boys

  • I’m single today because my heart was created to pump blood and not fall in love.

  • Single on Valentine’s Day, more chocolate for me

  • I love being single. It’s almost like being rich. Sue Grafton

  • The faithful pizza delivery man, who lovingly spreads pepperoni over the cheese, is the only Valentine I need this year.

  • Single, and NOT ready to mingle, thanks for looking

  • I guess I’d just have to date myself today.

  • If lovers get half price off on Valentine’s Day, then singles should just get everything for free.

  • To all my friends who are committed: Happy Valentines’ Day…. and to all my friends who are single, Happy Independence Day

  • When you have long-lasting AA batteries, being single can be super awesome!

  • Since I don’t have a partner, on Valentine’s Day, I will go around and collect Cupid’s broken arrow and then sell it back to him on eBay.

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Funny Valentines Day Captions for Singles

  • I had every intent of celebrating Valentine’s Day, but when Cupid got around to me it seems he had run out of arrows.

  • Me, myself, and I and my dog. Except for a bottle of Chianti, what more do I need?

  • Be happy with yourself because you are your own best friend.

  • Single: Too fabulous to settle

  • Happy Single Awareness Day

  • Valentine’s Day is appropriately the only holiday where the popular character that symbolizes the occasion is brandishing a very deadly weapon. Thank God I’m single!

  • My quest to spend every Valentine’s Day alone is based on a personal goal of achieving spiritual oneness.

  • This Valentine’s Day, I want to give a mighty shout-out to all my peeps for still having the courage to smile despite being as single as f**k!

  • I Love The Look On My Face When I Surprise Myself With Chocolates!

  • Be with someone who makes you happy.

More: Valentine’s Day Captions for Singles

Funny Valentines Day Quotes for Single Friends

  • Forever a proud member of the Association of Single Men and Women!

  • Spending Valentine’s Day with my true love… chocolate.

  • Had singleness been an Olympic sport, I would surely win multiple gold medals.

  • Cupid called and said he can’t make it over this February 14th as it seems the TSA detained him for carrying what they perceive as suspicious-looking chocolates.

  • I’m not angry with Cupid for not shooting an arrow for me because I know he’s waiting for the right one to come along.

  • Does anyone know the perfect gift to get a robot to wish it a Happy Valentine’s Day?

  • I gave my no-good boyfriend the boot earlier this month, making this the happiest Valentine’s Day I’ve had in years!

  • I just saved a bunch of money on Valentine’s Day by switching to single.

  • Next February I’m going to file a lawsuit against Valentine’s Day for singles’ discrimination.

  • I dumped my girlfriend on February 13th in hopes that being alone on Valentine’s Day will make me appreciate her more.

Also Look: Valentines Day Captions for Boyfriend

Funny Single Girl Valentines Day Quotes

  • I love you a bushel and a peck. Yes, I’m singing to myself.

  • Happiness comes from within, not from men

  • This fine V-Day, I’m going to spend every single cent I have on my one and only love – me.

  • If you could get a good look at my ex, then you would see why I now consider Valentine’s Day more like Halloween.

  • Single, but not alone. I’m celebrating Valentine’s Day with my loyal little feline, who’s also single.

  • I’m single because I was born that way. Mae West

  • A dozen roses: $20, a box of chocolates: $10, a Happy Valentines Day card: $5, still having $35 dollars because you’re single: priceless!

  • My valentine has still not wished me ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’. Did I do something wrong or is it because he’s a cat?

  • If acquiring a boyfriend was as easy as becoming fat, I certainly would have had one to share my Valentine’s Day with.

  • I’m single because I’m so hot that I literally burn anyone that comes closer to me.

Related: Valentine’s Day Quotes for Husband

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Funny Single Valentines Day Status

  • All my singles ladies

  • It’s almost Valentine’s Day and I still don’t know what to get myself yet.

  • No bae. No worries. No problem.

  • Love bites

  • Singlehood is good on your pocket. Wishing a fantastic Valentine’s Day to you.

  • This year’s Valentine’s Day I will enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge.

  • If Valentine’s Day is all about affection and chocolate, then it should be a holiday dedicated to appreciating fat people.

  • I don’t have to fear losing love I don’t have. So, I’ll celebrate being single on Valentine’s Day and enjoy the chocolate and the wine and whatever else makes me happy.

  • Whoever aborted the love of my life will not escaped my vengeance.

  • Singledom might not be the best for you, but it surely is great for your purse on V-Day!

Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes about Being Single

  • This Valentine, I can’t help but envy my calendar simply because it has dates whereas I don’t.

  • Roses are red, Violets are blue, Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two

  • Cupid pulled out his biggest arrow, aimed right at my heart and fired with all his might – but still missed.

  • If being in love is what it means to be free, then this Valentine’s Day my heart is in solitary confinement!

  • One of the biggest pros of being single is that you’re 100% sure you haven’t get yourself involved with the wrong person.

  • By God, I shall spend the entire Valentine’s Day with the love of my life…Myself!

  • There’s nothing I am better at doing than being single! Unknown

  • Happy Valentine’s Day to myself. I love you very much.

  • After I got finished dealing with him for his last screw-up Cupid is thoroughly afraid of even looking my direction on Valentine’s Day.

  • The Light Of My Life

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Valentine’s Day Captions When You’re Single

  • Me and an entire box of chocolate all to myself is a match made in heaven!

  • I have the most beautiful girlfriend in the world. The only problem is she’s invincible.

  • I don’t want to be alone. I want to be left alone.”-Audrey Hepburn

  • At Least I’ll Always Have A Pizza My Heart

  • Being single makes me the only one who loves me more than anyone else does. Wishing myself a happy Valentine’s Day.

  • If Cupid is such an advocate of intimate love, then why is that he has never been spotted with a girlfriend or wife, not even on Valentine’s Day? Something is definitely not right!

  • If singleness were a crime, you, my friend, would certainly be one of the most dangerous criminals on planet Earth.

  • I am out to break the Guinness world record for most Valentine Days spent alone.

  • During Valentine’s Days like this, I feel like going back in time and freeing the love of my love from being trapped in a condom.

  • I like to look myself more as a free agent than a lonely single on Valentine’s Day.

Funniest Valentine’s Day Quotes for Single People

  • This February 14th, take a moment to laugh thoroughly at your singlehood, everybody else does!

  • He loves me, he loves me not. Who cares because I love myself.

  • If I actually had enough money to celebrate a holiday as frivolous as Valentine’s Day, then my girlfriend from last year would still be around.

  • It sucks spending Valentine’s Day alone, but at least I’ll have more money to spend to make myself happy!

  • My girlfriend is 1000 miles away this Val’s Day, and I want to extend her my sincerest holiday wishes that she stay there!

  • For Valentine’s Day, I’m going to celebrate with a bottle of wine. Cheers to me!

  • I only have eyes for me.

  • I’m not single, I’m in a long term relationship with fun and freedom

  • I’m like a one-man shipping vessel on Valentine’s Day – mateless.

  • Valentine’s Day is in 4 days so if you are secretly in love with me, I suggest you reveal it now.

  • Here’s To Many More Years Of Happiness With Myself!

  • I will be busy this Valentine’s Day spending time with my EX…….Box 360.

  • I have chosen to be single because it makes my bank account as fat as Shrek.

Guys, these are the complete list of best funny single Valentines Day captions for Instagram post. We hope that you like the exclusive collection of Instagram captions. Please share these captions with friends and family on social media sites.