120 Hilarious Jokes About Eye Doctors

See the lighter side of eye care with our collection of eye doctor jokes! From cornea-tickling humor to retina-worthy quips, these jokes are designed to bring a smile to your face and make your visit to the eye doctor a laugh-filled experience.

Eye Doctor Jokes Shazam 2

1.Why did Shazam 2’s hero visit the eye doctor?  Because he couldn’t find his super-vision!

2.  What did the eye doctor tell Shazam when he complained about blurry vision?  “Looks like you need to zap those specs!”

3.  What do you call a magical eye exam in the world of Shazam 2?  A “sight-to-behold” checkup!

4.  Why did Shazam 2’s villain go to the eye doctor?  To get his “evil eye” prescription checked!

5.  How does Shazam 2’s optometrist examine superhero eyes?  With “thunder-vision” tests!

6.  What’s Shazam 2’s favorite eye chart letter?  We”S,” for Shazam!

7.  When Shazam 2’s hero visited the eye doctor, what did he say about his glasses?  “These frames need more ‘super’ in them!”

8.  What’s the eye doctor’s favorite superhero movie? Shazam 2 – because it’s all about seeing things clearly!

9.  How does Shazam 2’s optometrist test for superhuman vision?  With the “power of perception” exam!

10.  What does Shazam 2’s hero do when he can’t find his glasses?  He says, “Shazam!” and hopes for the best!

11.  Why did Shazam 2’s villain challenge the eye doctor to a staring contest?  Because he wanted to prove he had the evilest “gaze”!

12.  What did Shazam 2’s hero say after a successful eye exam?  “I’ve got 20/20 lightning vision now!”

13.  How did Shazam 2’s villain cheat on his eye exam?  He used his “sneaky-vision” powers!

14.  What’s the eye doctor’s favorite word in Shazam 2? “Clarity,” because it’s all about clear vision!

15.  Why did Shazam 2’s hero bring a tiny umbrella to his eye appointment?  In case of “flash” floods of light!

16.  What do you call it when Shazam 2’s hero and villain visit the eye doctor together?  A “visionary showdown”!

17.  How does Shazam 2’s optometrist check for superhero cataracts?  With the “power of purity” test!

18.  What do you get when you combine a superhero and an eye doctor?  A “sight-saving savior”!

19.  Why did Shazam 2’s hero tell the eye doctor he had a “charged” eye condition? Because he wanted “electric” treatment!

20.  How does Shazam 2’s villain rate his eye doctor visit? “One star – not enough evil in the diagnosis!”

Eye Doctor Jokes In English

See the lighter side of eye care with our collection of eye doctor jokes! From cornea-tickling humor to retina-worthy puns, these jokes are designed to bring a smile to your face and make your visit to the eye doctor a laugh-filled experience.

21.  Why did the alien visit the optometrist before other humans?  She knew the optometrist would be ok with making contact.

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22.  Why didn’t the optometrist evacuate during the hurricane?  The optometrist wanted to examine the eye of the storm.

23.  Where does the optometrist go on vacation? Paradise Eye-land.

24.  Why don’t optometrists use tape measures?  They’re really good at eyeball-ing it.

25.  What is the optometrist’s ideal date?  Staying in a retina movie.

26.  Why do optometrists live so long?  Because they dilate (die late).

27.  What music do optometrists listen to?  iTunes.

28.  How do you take over the globe?  With a contact lens.

29.  What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur?  Doyouthinkhesaurus.

30.  What did the sailor say to the captain of the optom boat? Eye-eye, captain.

31.  Where do you send a depressed eye?  To the low vision center.

32.  What did the frame tag say to the frame?  “I have a crush on you.”

33.  Where is the eye located? Between the H and the J.

34.  What happens when the retina cries?  You get retinal tears.

35.  What do you call a superhero who’s also an eye doctor?  A “sight-saving savior” with super vision!

Funny Eyesight Jokes

37.  When is a lens not a lens?  When it’s aphakic.

38.  When is a lens REALLY not a lens?  When it’s a-fake-ic.

39.  What do you call a Norwegian optom?  Toric the Viking.

40.  Why are auto-refractors like pirates?  ‘Cause ‘ey arrrrr!!

41.  And a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no… erm…. sexual organs?  Still no king eye-deer.

42.  What do you call a blind dinosaur’s dog?  Doyoufinkhesaurus Rex.

43.  What do you call a blind stag?  No Eye-Deer.

44.  What do you call a blind dinosaur?  Doyouthinkhesaurus.

45.  Where does bad light end up?  In Prism.

46.  What happens when you split a prism?  All the prisoners escape.

Eye Doctor Jokes One Liners

Illuminate your day with our eye doctor jokes! Dive into a world of optical humor, where puns and clever quips converge to create a vision of laughter that will have you looking forward to your next visit to the eye doctor.

47.  Why don’t eye doctors ever get lost?  Because they always follow their pupils!

48.  What’s an optometrist’s favorite kind of music?  Anything with a good “eye”-rhythm!

49.  How does an eye doctor greet their patients?  “Eye” hope you’re seeing well today!

50.  What do you call a group of optometrists?  The “focus” group!

51.  Why did the eye doctor get into the field?  Because they saw a bright future ahead!

52.  What’s an optometrist’s favorite movie?  “Eye, Robot.”

53.  What do you call it when an eye doctor becomes a chef? Retina cook!

54.  How do eye doctors stay calm under pressure?  They keep their “eye” on the prize!

55.  Why did the optometrist always carry a pencil?  In case they needed to draw pupils!

56.  How do you organize a space party for optometrists? You “planet” in advance!

57.  What’s an optometrist’s favorite dance move?  The “Eye”-step!

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58.  What’s an optometrist’s favorite type of humor? Eye-ronic!

59.  Why did the optometrist become a detective?  Because they had a knack for “eye”-identifying clues!

60.  How do eye doctors stay cool in the summer?  They wear their shades.

61.  What do you call it when an optometrist becomes a comedian?  Eye-sterical!

62.  Why did the eye doctor open a bakery?  To make some “eye”-catching pastries!

63.  How did the optometrist propose to their partner?  With a “visionary” plan!

64.  What do you call a nervous eye doctor?  A “blinking optometrist!

65.  Why do eye doctors love gardening?  Because it’s a great way to “cultivate” their skills!

66.  What do you call an eyeball that can fly?  A real eye soar.

Eye Doctor Jokes For Adults

67.  What’s the eye doctor unit at the hospital called?  I C U.

68.  Why did the Grim Reaper schedule an appointment with his eye doctor?  He was having issues with his death perception.

69.  What do you call a one-night stand between two eye doctors?  An optome-tryst.

70.  Why’d the gun go to the eye doctor?  It had glock-oma…

71.  Did you hear about the Eye Doctor who changed professions to become a comedian?  He made a spectacle of himself.

72.  What did one eye say to the other eye?  Between you and me, something smells!”

73.  Why is an eye doctor like a teacher?  They both test the pupils!

74.  What do you call a deer with no eyes?  No-eye-deer!

75.  What do you say to a pirate with two eyes?  Eye-eye, captain!

76.  What did the right eye say to the left eye?  Between you and me, there’s something that smells.

77.  Why did the cellphone start wearing glasses?  Because he lost all his contacts.

78.  What’s an eyeball’s best pick-up line?  Let me see you drink.

79.  What advice did the eyeball give to his son?  You’ve got to stay optometrist-ic!

80.  What do you call a fish with no eyes?  Visually impaired.

81.  What did the eyeball say to his son when his son asked for help on math homework?  Iris I could help you son, but I have no idea.

82.  Why did the rat go to the optometrist?  He was having issues with his rat-inas.

83.  What did the eyeball say when he was arrested?  I’ve been framed, officer.

84.  What did one eye say to the other before surgery?  Eye, wish you the best.

85.  Why did the eyeball say after eating McDonald’s for the first time?  Ba da ba ba ba, eye’s lovin’ it.

Dirty Eye Doctor Jokes

86.  What’s an optometrist’s ideal date?  Staying in a retina movie.

87.  What’s an optometrist’s favorite landmark?  The Eye-ffle Tower.

88.  Why was the optometrist embarrassed after he fell?  He made a huge spectacle of himself.

89.  What’s an optometrist’s favorite font?  Eye-talic.

90.  What’s an optometrist’s favorite book?  Lord of the Eyes.

91.  What’s an optometrist’s favorite pick-up line?  Help! Something’s wrong with my eyes–I can’t take them off you.

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92.  Why does the optometrist always take the elevator?  He hates the stars.

93.  How does an optometrist punish his child?  He makes him sit in the cornea.

94.  What did the optometrist say when his patient complained about it ?  That’s just how the eyes roll.

95.  How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?  One, or two? Three, or four?

96.  What do you call a Muslim optometrist who has no regard for his patients?  Asif Eyecare.

97.  What has four eyes and a mouth?  The Mississippi.

98.  What happens after you rub ketchup in your eyes?  You feel silly in Hindsight.

99.  What do you call a lotion that makes your eyes wet?  Moist-your-eyes-er.

100.  Why did the phone wear glasses?  He’d lost all of his contacts.

Short Eye Doctor Jokes

Frame your day with laughter using our eye doctor jokes! Explore a world of optical humor, where puns and clever wordplay collide to create a vision of amusement that will have you seeing the funny side of eye care.

101.  What’s an eyeball’s favorite type of bread?  R-eye bread.

102.  What’s an emo eyeball’s favorite band?  Eye Chemical Romance.

103.  What’s a baby eyeball’s favorite game?  Eye-spy.

104.  Why do programmers have perfect vision?  They can C++.

105.  What’s an eyeball’s favorite summertime drink? Eyes tea.

106.  What’s an eyeball’s dream vacation?  A tropical eye-land.

107.  Why did the eyeball spend all of his money on Black Friday?  Everything was eye one, get one free.

108.  What is it called when you poke your eyes with safety goggles?  Eye-rony.

109.  What’s an optometrist’s go-to karaoke song?  Eyes, eyes baby.

110.  Why was the optometrist so awkward on the first date? He didn’t know how to break the eyes.

111.  What do you call an optometrist obsessed with Apple products?  An iDoctor.

112.  What did the optometrist say to his student?  You’re an eye-deal pupil.

113.  Why did the eye doctor feel lonely?  Because he felt eyes-olated.

114.  What did the optometrist say to the judge after his testimony?  Iris my case.

115.  What did the optometrist say to his wife?  Eyes think we make a great pair.

116.  What did the eye doctor say when breaking up with her boyfriend?  Iris we’d never met!

117.  Why was the optometrist brought to court?  He was the only eyewitness.

118.  What’s an optometrist’s favorite dessert?  Eyes cream.

119.  Why was the optometrist so smart?  He had a high eye-Q.

120.  Why did the optometrist divorce his wife?  They couldn’t see eye to eye.

121.  What’s an eye doctor’s favorite snack?  Pop-cornea.

While eye health is a serious matter, it’s always good to have a laugh and these jokes about eye doctors certainly provide that. Whether you’ve had a bad experience with an optometrist or just need some comic relief during your next visit to the eye doctor, these jokes are sure to put a smile on your face.

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