65 Hilarious Secret Santa Jokes

Unwrap the gift of laughter with our Secret Santa jokes! Whether you’re the mastermind behind the surprise or the lucky recipient, these jokes will add a festive twist to your holiday celebrations.

Funny Secret Santa Jokes

1. How much did Santa’s sleigh cost?  It was in the house.

2.  Why is Santa scared of chimneys?  Because he’s claus-trophobic.

3.  How can you tell that Santa is real?  You can always sense his presents.

4.  What nationality is Santa Claus?  North Polish.

5.  Why did Mrs. Claus get mad at Santa?  Because her husband was a flake.

7.  What’s Santa’s favorite type of music?  Wrap.

8.  Why is Santa so good at karate?  He has a black belt.

9.  Why does Santa go through the chimney?  Because it suits him.

10.  How does Santa take pictures?  With his Pole-aroid camera.

11.  What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?  A “Holly” Davidson.

12.  Why was Santa’s little helper so sad?  He had low self-esteem.

13.  Who is Santa’s least favorite reindeer?  Rude-olph.

14.  What do you call Santa’s little helpers?  Subordinate Clauses.

15.  Why don’t you ever see Santa Claus in the hospital? Because he has private elf care.

16.  How does Santa keep his suit wrinkle-free?  He uses Claus-tarch.

17.  What’s Santa’s favorite exercise?  Claus-trophobia (Crossfit).

18.  What’s Santa’s favorite type of math? Christmas-trigonometry.

19.  How does Santa organize his bookshelf?  By using “Sleigh-bells.”

20.  What’s Santa’s favorite dessert?  Mistle-“toe” cake.

21.  Why did Santa go to the beach?  He wanted to “shell-ebrate” the holidays.

Best Secret Santa Jokes

Lighten up your Secret Santa exchange with a touch of humor! Explore our collection of side-splitting Secret Santa jokes that are sure to add laughter and joy to your festive gift-giving.

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22.  How does Santa handle sick people?  He nurses them back to the elf.

23.  What’s Santa’s little helper’s secret to avoiding cookies?  He’s mastered elf control.

24.  What’s Santa’s go-to breakfast cereal?  He starts the day with Frosted Flakes.

25.  What’s Santa called when he wears ear muffs?  You can call him anything; he can’t hear you!

26.  Where does Santa take his checks?  He cashes them at the snow bank.

27.  Is Santa’s favorite candy? He loves Jolly Ranchers.

28.  What’s red, green, and airborne?  It’s a sleigh-sick Santa!

29.  Who delivers Christmas presents to pets like cats and dogs?  It’s Santa Paws!

30.  What’s big, jolly, and says, “Oh, oh, oh” while walking backward?  That’s Santa Claus in reverse!

31.  Why does Santa struggle with spelling?  He thinks the alphabet has Noel.

32.  What’s the name of Santa’s pet frog?  He named it Mistletoad.

33.  How does Santa manage to make his sleigh fly?  Honestly, I have no eye deer.

34.  What’s Santa’s top choice for potato chips?  He can’t resist Kringles.

35.  What do Santa’s elves study in school?  They master the elf-abet.

36.  What do you get when you mix a duck with Santa?  A Christmas quacker, of course!

37.  Who’s the feline that works alongside Santa?  It’s Santa Claws, the cat with a festive job!

38.  How does Santa deal with the child who embraces nihilism during the holidays? By delivering presents on the “nihilist” list.

39.  Where is the workshop where Santa’s elves craft just passable toys?  It’s tucked away in the “satisfactory.”

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40.  Can you name the 4 stages of life according to Santa’s perspective?  Believing in Santa, not believing in Santa, becoming Santa, resembling Santa.

41.  What did Mrs. Claus remark when she gazed out of the window?  “Looks like rain, dear Santa.”

42.  Why do Dasher and Dancer have a fondness for coffee? Because they’re the stars of Santa’s coffee shop.

43.  How can you tell when Santa is nearby?  You can feel the presence of his gifts.

44.  What led to Santa’s disappointment in Rudolph’s report card?  Rudolph went down in history class!

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Hilarious Secret Santa Jokes

This holiday season, spread the cheer and giggles with our Secret Santa jokes! Elevate the laughter quotient at your gift exchange and turn the occasion into a jolly good time.

45.  What do you call a penniless Santa?  Saint Nickel-less.

46.  What did the owl say when it wore a Santa hat?  “HOO HOO HOO!”

47.  What’s Santa’s ethnicity?  North Poleish.

48.  Why isn’t there a divorce court at the North Pole?  Because you’d expect a lot of marriages to go south sooner or later.

49.  What do you call a kid who’s afraid of Santa?  Claustrophobic.

50.  Why should ladies stop asking Santa for the perfect man?  That fella has tried to kidnap me four times this week.

51.  Did you hear that Santa defeated a dragon flying over medieval England?  Guess you could say he sleighed it.

52.  Why is Santa so busy? He’s wrapped up in a lot of things.

53.  What do you call an elf that hates Santa?  A rebel without a Claus.

54.  What’s a Christmas dilemma?  If you tell Santa what you want for Christmas, then you’ll definitely be on the naughty list.

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55.  What’s Santa’s favorite heavy metal band?  Sleigher.

56.  Did you hear that Santa played golf on Christmas day and got a birdie?  It was a partridge on a par 3.

57.  Why is Santa Claus always a man?  Because no woman will wear the same dress year after year for the same occasion.

58.  What’s the difference between Santa Claus and voter fraud?  One is a childish fantasy about getting what you want, the other has flying reindeer.

59.  Why does Santa go down a chimney on Christmas?  Because it suits him.

60.  What’s it called when someone is afraid of getting stuck in a chimney?  Santa Claustrophobia.

61.  What does Santa use to clean his suit for Christmas? YuleTide.

62.  Why does Santa spend 364 days a year forming strong masculine relationships?  Bros before hos.

63.  Why does Santa go through the chimney?  Because Mrs. Claus wouldn’t let him go through her back door.

64.  What does Santa say if you get too close to him with a cold?  “You’re on the snotty list!”

65.  What weapon does Santa have?  Ballistic mistletoe.

66.  Why did Santa’s helper see a therapist?  Because they had low self-esteem.

67.  What’s the difference between Santa Claus and Krampus?  Santa comes once a year and loves everyone, the Krampus comes once a month and hates women.

68.  What’s the most popular Christmas wine?  “I don’t like Brussels sprouts!”

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Adding a little humor to the holiday season through Secret Santa jokes is sure to bring some much-needed laughter and joy. From clever puns to silly pranks, there are endless possibilities for spreading cheer and creating lasting memories with friends and family. So don’t be afraid to get creative and have fun with your Secret Santa gifts this year!